9.05.2014

from baby #1 to baby #2

It's funny how much I knew about being a parent, before I actually became one.
Now I know nothing.
Nothing at all.
These squirmy little replicas are anything but consistent- something works one day, while the next day it is completely wrong ("But you liked broccoli 5 minutes ago!!!").

But I have learned there are some MAJOR differences between baby #1 to baby #2. Those of you reading this with only one child (or no children) will scoff and think "I will never!". But...I never thought I would fish the things I do out of the toilet either (things that aren't supposed to be there, mind you). It's okay- we can laugh about our naivete together while I'm snuggling your next baby (without having washed my hands- because you know, germs? Meh.).


So what changes? I'll tell you.

1. POOP
Baby #1- I cried when she didn't poop right. 
Read that again. 
I CRIED over BABY DOO-DOO. Granted, I was only a week post-partum and my hormones were so crazy I could've been my own episode of The Real Housewives. But she wasn't DOING it enough! The little hospital book said like 8 times a day, (or something) because I triple checked- and Googled it, and tried to find a Yahoo answer and Baby Center forum.

Baby #2- Turns out you don't actually have to cry over poop. Most likely they'll do it and it'll be fine. If not, there's a sweet little trick I learned with baby #1- a Q-Tip up the bum works every time. Guaranteed. (Though from experience let me tell you, you'll want extra wipes in close proximity.)

#2. ACCESSORIES
Baby #1- I think I bought her 10 pairs of shoes (not even exaggerating) for her first 3 months of life. She never went anywhere un-accessorized. 

Baby #2- All those shoes are now hand-me-downs and guess how many times she's worn them? I'll give you a hint: none. A hair bow or headband only happens if it's within arms reach as we're heading out the door or we're getting professional pictures.

#3. SCHEDULES
Baby #1- I read every single book there was to read about sleep habits and fostering good schedules. And we tried them all.

Baby #2- It's whatev. Sleep when you're tired, eat when you're hungry. It'll work itself out.

#4 BATHS
Baby #1- Mandatory bath every night as part of a good bedtime routine followed by lavender lotion massage.

Baby #2- You didn't do much today, did ya? Only spit up twice? We're good- bath tomorrow, k? K.

#5 GERMS
Baby #1- YOU TOUCHED DIRT! You! (pointing at husband)- Get the hand sanitizer! You! (Pointing at mother)- call the pediatrician! SHE'S GOING TO DIE!

Baby #2- We'll just wash it off when you get a bath. Tomorrow.

#6 MEDIA
Baby #1- No media until age 2! Never in sight of the TV (your brain might explode!). 

Baby #2- Here, watch Mickey Mouse with your sister for a minute so I can pee alone for 10 seconds. Oh look! Your brain didn't explode. 
#7 BINKIES
Baby #1- Binky falls on the floor at home- wash it off with soap and water. Binky falls on the floor in public place- put binky back into diaper bag to boil when you get home and pull out one of your five spares- you prepared mother, you.

Baby #2- Binky falls on the floor at home- blow it off (if something is visibly on it) and pop it back in. Bink falls on the floor in public place (if you actually remembered to pack one)- same as above (okay maybe you wipe it off with a diaper wipe- if someone's watching).

#8 EXERCISE
Baby #1- Prenatal yoga class every week up until 37 weeks pregnant. Post-partum exercise starting at exactly 6 weeks.

Baby #2- Prenatal yoga a grand total of twice. Post-partum exercise starting...tomorrow! I shall start tomorrow!

#9 SOLID FOODS
Baby #1- You will start no solid foods until 6 months. We will start with rice cereal, then move to oatmeal, then through fruits and vegetables, starting with vegetables first so you don't develop a preference to only sweet things.

Baby #2- At 3 months: You're really eying this apple I'm eating...want to suck on it for a minute? Oh look at the funny disgusted face you made!! How cute!! Let's do it again. James come watch this, it's funny!

#10 PICTURES
Baby #1- Professional photo shoots at ages newborn, 3, 6, 9 and 12 months! So I can have those cute pictures and also so I can display them at your first birthday party!

Baby #2-  Lemme instagram somethin' real quick.



And now that none of my friends will ever want me to watch their kids again...
;-)
But you know it's true. Though it doesn't mean we don't love the little boogers any less- it's incredible how much your heart grows with each baby...this time around, we just know they're a little more durable!

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh--soooo true!!! Although when I was pregnant with my second, I definitely become WAY more lax-priorities!! As long as they are fed and didn't die jumping off the couch, behind hit by a thrown toy, or eating days old cheetos from under the couch, its all good, right?! Haha! Thanks for posting!

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